13/30

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[Animation by Clay Rodery]

East Coker

the misgivings are finished

my heart has wandered away and been lost to the sky

the heaving was mistook

I left and loved, loved and lied, fought my insides and they won

guts consume me, eating away at my hand in his, eating out

a drying pussy because it wasn’t him, wasn’t you, is not that I stopped loving

I am just lost

notching bed posts and doused with glamour of shining new toys

playing until punching noses, thresholds crossed into morning

when I dance, my body mourns the depths from whence it came

aching again for his fingers in my hair

he’s lost to the sea, the blue, the horizon meeting the sky

and I am left seeking a new fixation

wandering the streets of Bushwick at night

prancing about in the clothes he bought

the fabric feels lost,

feels safe,

feels alone.

 

 

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